A lot has happened in this unabridged life of mine recently. In July I happily married the love of my life in front of some of our closest family and friends in an intimate ceremony by a lake in Oregon. It was one of the most fun, precious days of my life thus far. The whole weekend was filled with anticipation, joy, and blessings.
We started out with a small ceremony at our local Catholic parish, where we were officially joined together as husband and wife in front of the Lord. These words were read aloud before the blessing of the rings:
The Book of Tobit 8:4b-8
On their wedding night Tobiah arose from bed and said to his wife, “Sister, get up. Let us pray and beg our Lord to have mercy on us and to grant us deliverance.” Sarah got up, and they started to pray and beg that deliverance might be theirs. They began with these words: “Blessed are you, O God of our fathers; praised be your name forever and ever. Let the heavens and all your creation praise you forever. You made Adam and you gave him his wife Eve to be his help and support; and from these two the human race descended. You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; let us make him a partner like himself.’ Now, Lord, you know that I take this wife of mine not because of lust, but for a noble purpose. Call down your mercy on me and on her, and allow us to live together to a happy old age.” They said together, “Amen, amen.”
These words began our marriage and will be guiding us as we strengthen and grow our relationship, following the example Jesus left for us. How amazing are these words? Tobiah and Sarah recognize that a couple must work together to support each other and work together. Tobiah acknowledges that he takes his wife for a “noble purpose” and he wishes to live a happy life with her, so much so that he prays this on his wedding night.
A few days later our family and friends joined us for a celebration of our marriage, along with the personal readings of our vows, which I may share in a separate blog post when we are ready. We spent the evening dancing, eating, and celebrating our union. It was all things wonderful and dreamy.
Leading up to our marriage Jose and I received a lot of varying views on marriage and long-term relationships. A lot of what I heard was negative, especially from within my family. I would be told things like “well just wait until you’re married, he’ll stop trying so hard and acting so sweet.” Or “you don’t really know what you’re getting into getting married at a young age.” Or even “are you sure you want to do this? Like absolutely sure?” Jose, on the other hand, was surrounded by many people cheating on their significant others because they were unhappy. It was overwhelming. How terrible is it to say these words over a new relationship? This was not what we wanted our marriage to be like. And we were-and still are-set on the idea that we are never going to let this marriage break apart. Obviously there will be hard times. Hard, hard times. Suffocating times. Times when we may feel like giving up or giving in. But we have God guiding us and loving on us. And we will continually turn our eyes towards Him when we feel lost. Our marriage will last not just because we love each other, but because we love God first.
Thankfully we did not only hear negativity about marriage. Two of the most positive remarks that stuck with me were from Jose’s wonderful cousin and my amazing hair stylist. They both raved about marriage. They had never been happier. They both spoke about how much their marriage forced them to grow and how much they love doing life with another person. This is the glorious news that we hold onto.
I feel a newness in this season that I am in. The newness of marriage and of creating a home together. The newness of learning how to share a small space with another human, creating budgets, planning our routine, adapting to each others preferences, and being open to new perspectives. I’m so thankful I have such a caring, mindful husband to navigate it all with. Our life is beautiful and it will continue that way as we start a family together and continue pursuing our goals.
Hello Camille, I married Ron at age 21, we had dated for 4 years. I can tell you the last 38 years have been beautiful in their challenge, deep love, growing, changing, fun, and adventure. I came from a divorced family and many thought we were too young. Jesus has guided us and helped us every step of the way. Author Tim Keller says that “marriage is for the purpose of making us holy not happy”. I can honesty say that we are very happy as well but joy is much deeper and lasting and comes from God. I’ve always told my children that to your live will be a wild adventure if you walk with God because he’s the author of adventure. Blessings on your marriage Camille, keep “letting your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and praise your Father in heaven”.
Thank you so much for these words ❤️ we will cherish them!
Camille and Jose,
I am so sorry about the negative vibe. Here is another POV:
John and I met when I was 17, at his 19th birthday/Halloween party at his college. A high school friend invited me to the party, telling me I had to come as she wanted me to meet the person I was going to marry. That was in 1965. We have been married since 1969, shortly before my 21st birthday.
I’ve lost track of that friend but I remain grateful that she dragged me to that party. It is not your age when you marry that is important. Far more significant is how well you do things together while remaining strong and purposeful individuals within this partnership.
We have certainly had challenges, and difficult times in our lives but I have always felt supported by John, and never felt I had to give up who I am to make him happy. We wish you and Jose the same good fortune.
I love this! Thank you for sharing!