What does it mean to be a homemaker to you?
To me it means cultivating an atmosphere of love and safety while ensuring that our needs are met. Being a wife has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life so far. I love making our home whatever we want it to be. Upon getting married we had a clean slate. A fresh open space that we could mold into our own. Our adorable small one bedroom loft has been our first home together. It’s where my husband first called home in the United States. It’s where we came back to on our wedding night. It’s where friends have (tightly) gathered and meals have been shared. This home is where difficult, tear-filled conversations have been had. It’s where we’ve had most of our “first-year-of-marriage-trying-to-figure-each-other-out” fights. We have prayed in this space. We have laughed uncontrollably here together. It’s where I first moved by myself and breathed the most releasing sigh of relief to have my own space for the first time. In this space my husband and I have created our first child. And then lost that child in a painfully vulnerable, gut wrenching experience that will be imprinted into our minds forever. This space has held beautiful memories and difficult ones too. It has been a wonderful first home for us. And as we prepare to move on from it, holding onto that feeling of home is important to bring with us.
So, being a homemaker to me means cultivating an atmosphere of love and safety while ensuring that our needs are being met. Homemaking is a shared responsibility of both husband and wife. We can play off of both of our strengths and gifts to create the most beautiful home and family.
My favorite way to cultivate an atmosphere of love is in the simplest of ways. Making fresh banana bread for us to share together. The smell of the bread baking fills up the home and brings back memories of our mothers and grandmothers baking in our childhood homes. I love making dinner for my husband so that he has it to enjoy when he gets home at night. It’s a small gesture that when he is gone he can come back and find a nourishing meal waiting for him. Or even offering to give him a massage after a long day on his feet. This act shows love and selflessness and an attentiveness to each other’s needs. I like to create an atmosphere of love and warmth through lighting a candle or starting an essential oil diffuser to fill up the home with a calming scent. Writing affirmations down on notes and spreading those throughout the house to read throughout the day. I can cultivate safety in our home by cleaning up and organizing the space. I deep clean once a week and do lighter cleaning on a daily basis. Organization is one of my personal skills, so I take time after work to organize our belongings and have them ready for use. My husband has his own talents and homemaking qualities. He’s incredibly nurturing and selfless. He does the laundry every week for us and always takes out the garbage, recycling, and compost. He’ll clean the bathroom, vacuum in all the hard to get places, and pick up what we need at the store. He’ll go out of his way to get me flowers to make me feel loved and place them on our dining room table. He makes me tea with just the right amount of milk and honey. All of these acts make our home a home. It makes the place that we live in a place to enjoy rather than a place to come just to eat and to sleep. It’s a place that you long to spend time in, together.
In every simple act that we do, we are creating our home. We are putting forth effort to do simple acts that make our home welcoming and peaceful. My heart leaps for joy at the thought of one day filling our home with mini versions of us. And we can extend that love and safety to them as well. So that they can come home to a place that they love. A place that they will never be scared to enter. That they will long to be in. As I get older and I reflect on my younger years, I increasingly long to create a family and a home that is filled with the spirit of Jesus and the heart of God. No matter if that is in a loft, an apartment, or a house. That atmosphere of home will be with us because we are homemakers, together.